A Round of Appaws for America’s Best Pet Care Puns

(Photos: Zach Steaban (Groomer Has It); Adam Fagen (Howl to the Moon, The Big Bad Woof); Roshani (The Dogfather); Tom Smith (Indiana Bones); Kevin Lively (Pooches Gracias); Abhishek (Barks 5th Ave); Robin Colgrove (Laundromutt))

See our ultimate crowdsourced map of punny businesses in America.

As much as we love our furry companions, we know deep down that there’s something inherently ridiculous in taking an animal to school or to get a haircut.

As a result, many of our punniest pet care businesses are tongue-in-cheek about how their establishment provides services that would be fancy for humans, but are, in fact, for animals (Fine Whines and Lickers, Barks 5th Avenue, Groomingdales). Boarding facilities range from the kingly (Barkingham Palace), to the trendy (Chateau Marmutt), to the shamelessly bourgeois (Crate and Marrow). The particularly cultured creature would likely appreciate a trim at at Vanity Fur in Millbrook, Alabama, followed by a stint at the Bowhaus in Erie, Colorado.

Another trend in pet care pun names involves wishful (wagful?) recasting of beloved TV shows and classic movies. Barks and Recreation and Barking Bad take home top awards in the television category. Two Oscar contenders make an appearance (Citizen Canine, The Dogfather), as do a couple of adventure blockbusters (Indiana Bones and the Temple of Groom, The Crate Escape). Any intellectual property concerns can be directed to Barker & Meowski: A Paw Firm in Chicago. 

Sorting through all these submissions can be ruff, so here are some highlights:

—Variations on doggy style (“Doggie Style,” “Doggie Styles,” “Doggie Stylez,” “Doggy Style,” “Doggy Styles”), with 12 total examples.
—4 plays on “canine”
—3 musical references: Cats on Broadway, Wagtime, Wizard of Paws
—3 examples of “The Barking Lot,” in 3 different cities
—Chicago and Portland are tied with 5 submissions each. Virginia Woof Dog Daycare gives Portland the edge. 

Editor’s picks:

Ace of Spays (Hainesport, NJ)

Bark Side of the Moon (Chicago, IL)

Bark Harbor (Bar Harbor, ME)

Barking Bad Grooming (Albuquerque, NM)

Chateau Marmutt (Los Angeles, CA)

Citizen Canine (Chicago, IL and Oakland, CA)

Crate & Marrow (Charlottesville, VA)

Fine Whines and Lickers (Pittsfield, MA)

Howl To The Chief (Washington, DC)

Howl-A-Day Inn (El Paso, TX)

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Groom (Simi Valley and Thousand Oaks, CA)

K9dergarten (Jersey City, NJ)

Pretty Coat Junction (Lakewood, OH)

Snip Doggy Dog (Des Moines IA and Fairfield CT)

Tails Of Two Cities (Minneapolis, MN)

The Crate Escape (Cambridge, MA)

Vanity Fur (Millbrook, AL)

Virginia Woof Dog Daycare (Portland,OR)

Here are the other categories:

Coffee shops

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

Hair/Nail Salons

The full list: