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A Round of Appaws for America’s Best Pet Care Puns

(Photos: Zach Steaban (Groomer Has It); Adam Fagen (Howl to the Moon, The Big Bad Woof); Roshani (The Dogfather); Tom Smith (Indiana Bones); Kevin Lively (Pooches Gracias); Abhishek (Barks 5th Ave); Robin Colgrove (Laundromutt))

See our ultimate crowdsourced map of punny businesses in America.

As much as we love our furry companions, we know deep down that there’s something inherently ridiculous in taking an animal to school or to get a haircut.

As a result, many of our punniest pet care businesses are tongue-in-cheek about how their establishment provides services that would be fancy for humans, but are, in fact, for animals (Fine Whines and Lickers, Barks 5th Avenue, Groomingdales). Boarding facilities range from the kingly (Barkingham Palace), to the trendy (Chateau Marmutt), to the shamelessly bourgeois (Crate and Marrow). The particularly cultured creature would likely appreciate a trim at at Vanity Fur in Millbrook, Alabama, followed by a stint at the Bowhaus in Erie, Colorado.

Another trend in pet care pun names involves wishful (wagful?) recasting of beloved TV shows and classic movies. Barks and Recreation and Barking Bad take home top awards in the television category. Two Oscar contenders make an appearance (Citizen Canine, The Dogfather), as do a couple of adventure blockbusters (Indiana Bones and the Temple of Groom, The Crate Escape). Any intellectual property concerns can be directed to Barker & Meowski: A Paw Firm in Chicago. 

Sorting through all these submissions can be ruff, so here are some highlights:

—Variations on doggy style (“Doggie Style,” “Doggie Styles,” “Doggie Stylez,” “Doggy Style,” “Doggy Styles”), with 12 total examples.
—4 plays on “canine”
—3 musical references: Cats on Broadway, Wagtime, Wizard of Paws
—3 examples of “The Barking Lot,” in 3 different cities
—Chicago and Portland are tied with 5 submissions each. Virginia Woof Dog Daycare gives Portland the edge. 

Editor’s picks:

Ace of Spays (Hainesport, NJ)

Bark Side of the Moon (Chicago, IL)

Bark Harbor (Bar Harbor, ME)

Barking Bad Grooming (Albuquerque, NM)

Chateau Marmutt (Los Angeles, CA)

Citizen Canine (Chicago, IL and Oakland, CA)

Crate & Marrow (Charlottesville, VA)

Fine Whines and Lickers (Pittsfield, MA)

Howl To The Chief (Washington, DC)

Howl-A-Day Inn (El Paso, TX)

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Groom (Simi Valley and Thousand Oaks, CA)

K9dergarten (Jersey City, NJ)

Pretty Coat Junction (Lakewood, OH)

Snip Doggy Dog (Des Moines IA and Fairfield CT)

Tails Of Two Cities (Minneapolis, MN)

The Crate Escape (Cambridge, MA)

Vanity Fur (Millbrook, AL)

Virginia Woof Dog Daycare (Portland,OR)

Here are the other categories:

Coffee shops

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

Hair/Nail Salons

 

The full list:

Ace of Spays
Hainesport, NJ
All Things Pawssible
Charlottesville, VA
Anything is Pawsible
Chicago, IL
At Your Bark & Call Pet Sitting & Dog Walking
St. Petersburg, FL
At Your Bark and Call
Lafayette Hill, PA
Bark Avenue
Fairview Heights, IL
Bark Harbor
Bar Harbor, ME
Bark Side of the Moon
Chicago, IL
Bark Tudor School for Dogs
Indianapolis, IN
Barker & Meowski: A Paw Firm
Chicago, IL
Barking Bad Grooming
Albuquerque, NM
Barkingham Palace
Delray Beach, FL
Los Angeles, CA
Barks 5th Avenue
Houston, TX
Barks and Recreation
Memphis, TN
Beauty for the Beast
Portland, OR
Blooming Tails Dog Grooming
Point Pleasant, NJ
Bone Marché
St. Louis Park, MN
Bowhaus
Erie, CO
BYOD Dog Wash
South Boston, MA
CaNine to Five
Schenectady, NY
Canine to Five Detroit
Detroit, MI
Cats on Broadway Hospital
Missoula, MT
Central Bark Doggy Day Care
Broadview Heights, OH
Milwaukee, WI
Chateau Marmutt
Los Angeles, CA
Citizen Canine
Chicago, IL
Oakland, CA
Clippity Do Dog
Terre Haute, IN
Crate & Marrow
Charlottesville, VA
Dog Is My Copilot, Inc
Jackson, WY
Dogfather
Boston, MA
Doggie Style
Bremerton, WA
Philadelphia, PA
Tangent, OR
Washington, DC
Doggie Styles
Azusa, CA
Brooklyn, NY
Eugene, OR
Stuart, FL
Doggie Stylez
San Antonio, TX
Doggy Doo
Gymond, OK
Doggy Style
New York, NY
Tooele, UT
Doggy Styles
Pawtucket, RI
Dogma
Wayne, PA
Doody Calls
Charlottesville, VA
Ewe-Topia Herd Dog Training
Roy, WA
Fenway Bark
Boston, MA
Fine Whines and Lickers
Pittsfield, MA
For Pet’s Sake
Minneapolis, MN
Fur-Get-Me-Nots
St. Croix Falls, WI
Groomingdale’s
St. Louis, MO
Vineyard Haven, MA
Groomingdale’s Pet Salons
Eagan, MN
Groomingdales
New York, NY
Wyndmoor, PA
Groomingdell’s
Forty Fort, PA
Hair of the Dog
New York, NY
Hair of the Dog Grooming Spa and Boutique
Frankfort, IL
Hair of the Dog Pet Salon
Lafayette Hill, PA
Happy Tails Country Club for Dogs
Fairview, NC
Howl To The Chief
Washington, DC
Howl-A-Day Inn
El Paso, TX
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Groom
Simi Valley, CA
Thousand Oaks, CA
K9dergarten
Jersey City, NJ
Laund-Ur-Mutt
Boulder, CO
Laundermutts Pet Services
West Jordan, UT
Laundromutt
Cambridge, MA
Newton Centre, MA
Living Pawsitively
Lafayette, NJ
Main Lion
Paoli, PA
Noah’s Arf
Portland, OR
Pawfection
New Milford, CT
Pasadena, CA
Paws in the City
Brooklyn, NY
Paws T’ Notice
Owatonna, MN
Paws With Inn
Ipswich, MA
Pawsitive Training Center
Lowell, MI
Personal Beast
Portland, OR
Pet Cetera
Davis, CA
Pet-a-cures
Poseyville, IN
Pettin on the Ritz
Bethlehem, PA
Pooches Gracias
Nipomo, CA
Poochini’s Pet Grooming
Tucson, AZ
Pretty Coat Junction
Lakewood, OH
Pride and Groom
San Anselmo, CA
Purrrniture
St. Paul, MN
Raise the Woof
Omaha, NE
Reigning Cats And Dogs
,Many locations
Ruff Love Dogs
Minneapolis, MN
Scoobies We Do & Kitties Too
Randolph, MA
Sit Happens
Linden, PA
Missoula, MT
Snip Doggy Dog
Des Moines, IA
Fairfield, CT
State of the Arf Mobile Grooming
Scottsdale, AZ
Tails Of Two Cities
Minneapolis, MN
Tales of the City
San Francisco, CA
Tales of the Kitty
San Francisco, CA
The Barking Lot
Chicago, IL
Louisvillle, KY
Urbandale, IA
The Big Bad Woof
Washington, DC
The Bone Adventure
Costa Mesa, CA
The Bone Appetite
Philadelphia, PA
The Crate Escape
Cambridge, MA
The Dog Spaw
Costa Mesa, CA
The Dogfather
Salt Lake City, UT
Vanity Fur
Millbrook, AL
Virginia Woof Dog Daycare
Portland, OR
Wag On Inn
Vergennes, VT
Wag the Dog
Portland, OR
Waggs to Riches
Delray Beach, FL
Wagtime
Washington, DC
Wizard of Paws
Raleigh, NC
Rehoboth Beach, DE
You Dirty Dog
Cave Junction, OR