Hi uh there’s a minivan parked on my block that has a couple dozen VHS tapes of the motion picture SPEED on the dashboard pic.twitter.com/xXlMAnigHw— Emily Hughes ✨ (@emilyhughes) February 2, 2017
There’s no easy way to say this, so let’s get right to it: As recently as yesterday morning, a minivan filled with dozens of copies of the film Speed has been spotted parked in Brooklyn.
The minivan is black and, judging by the duct tape on its wiper cowl, somewhat beat up. Emily Hughes is the latest to spot the unusual vehicle, which has been tooling around Greenpoint and Williamsburg.
In the 1994 film Speed—as you doubtlessly remember—Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock team up to thwart a domestic terrorist who has planted a bomb on a Los Angeles city bus. If the bus falls below 50 miles per hour, the bomb will explode.
If this is a 2017 meta-remake, the plot appears to be quite different. The van is generally stationary and, although there are receipts scattered across the dash as well, they do not appear to be speeding tickets.
According to Twitter reports, the van has been around since summer of last year, at the very least. Based on photos, it seems to be slowly but steadily accumulating tapes, but that could be an optical illusion caused by an overdose of staring Keanus.
Why is this minivan full of VHS copies of Speed pic.twitter.com/I5fbhUWrsX— Emma Alpern (@theygotemma) November 15, 2016
Oddly, this is not the Speed-iest van in the world—according to Vice, a collector in Idaho has over 500 copies in a repurposed Care-A-Van.
Which is to say, this particular disease appears contagious. Brooklyn residents, remember—if you see something, say something.
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