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A U.K. Official Probably Just Killed Any Hopes for ‘Boaty McBoatface’

The name “isn’t suitable.”

The public has spoken, but even after weeks of polling and tens of thousands of votes, it remains unlikely that a new British research ship will be named Boaty McBoatface after all. 

This, despite the name getting over 124,000 votes from the internet public in a poll, winning decisively and besting its next closest competitor, Poppy-Mai, by over 80,000 votes.

On Monday, Jo Johnson, the Conservative Science Minister who will be ultimately approving the name, said that Boaty McBoatface was “not suitable,” crushing the hopes and dreams of the whimsical everywhere. 

It was always going to be a tough upstream paddle for Boaty, especially after even its creator, James Hand, a former BBC radio presenter, disavowed his creation and voted instead for “RRS David Attenborough.”

Monday’s remarks, however, portend final doom for Boaty, since Johnson has also said the poll will just be one factor in the naming decision.

Boaty’s life was short if wondrous, though Boaty’s supporters continue to fight

The complete top 10

1. RRS Boaty McBoatface, 124,109 votes 

2. RRS Poppy-Mai, 39,886 votes 

3. RRS Henry Worsley,  15,774 votes 

4. RRS David Attenborough, 11,023 votes 

5. RRS ITS BLOODY COLD HERE, 10,679 votes

6. RRS Usain Boat, 8,710 votes 

7. RRS Boatimus Prime, 8,365 votes 

8. RRS Katharine Giles, 7,687 votes 

9. RRS Catalina de Aragon, 7,055 votes 

10. RRS I Like Big Boats & I Cannot Lie, 6,452 votes