Hardcore baseball fans will recognize the name Chris Denorfia, the right-handed outfielder who has been a free agent since this baseball season ended. Before that, he was a Seattle Mariner and a Chicago Cub. But to one group of roommates in San Diego, Denorfia will always be a Padre.
The University City millennials are suffering not from denial or nostalgia, but from whatever traffic spill, cosmic accident, or great prank left 600 “San Diego Padre Chris Denorfia” bobbleheads at their doorstep this past Thursday.
That night, the roommates heard a crash, and saw a white van speeding away from piles of what turned out to be boxed-up bobbleheads. Fearing the toys might be “from a drug cartel or something,” the roommates contacted the San Diego Police.
But when officers came to inspect the load, they found that the plastic ‘Norfs were drug free. The roommates piled half of them in the room of an absent compatriot and went to sleep. By morning, the other half were gone, true free agents once again.
Since then, the accidental Deno dealers have been trying to unload their 300 big-headed sluggers on friends, coworkers neighbors, and members of local news crews, to medium success. Swaths of Denorfias have colonized the front hall and the high shelves, and have been stacked into “a playhouse for the dog.” When asked if they will stay forever, they can only nod.