Condensation trails behind a plane. (Photo: Public domain)

All good conspiracy theories are alike, while each bad conspiracy theory seems to be dumb in its own unique way. 

Take chemtrails, for example. Those white trails that planes leave behind in the sky? Not condensation, chemtrail theorists would have you believe, but a secret conspiracy to spray chemicals onto the world to kill you, or control your mind, or something. 

Leading scientist Kylie Jenner, for one, is chemtrail curious, even while the vast majority of other scientists dismiss the theory as utter nonsense. 

And, now, dozens of scientists have banded together to publish the first peer-reviewed study on chemtrails, according to Science Alert.

Seventy-six of the 77 scientists said there was no evidence that chemtrails existed, while the lone holdout observed a chemical that could be explained by spraying chemicals in the sky, though that scientist had no evidence to suggest that was actually happening. 

In other words! Chemtrails are not a thing! You can take this as permission to resume looking at the sky with awe and wondering, idly, if it’s possible that “clouds” are the dangerous work of our federal government, intentionally placed there to obscure all the real things happening higher up in our atmosphere.