The Pirate Supply Store carries an extensive array of essential pirate paraphernalia: flags, compasses, spyglasses, mermaid tears, skeleton keys, etc. (glass eyes and lard are no longer offered.) Explore the drawers, read important pirate bulletins, find the X (and the spot it marks), and spend a quiet minute or thirty in the velvet-draped Fish Theater. Caution: you may be mopped.

Meanwhile, in the backroom, young San Franciscans write stories, essays, and poems, and get help with reading and homework. 826 Valencia was co-founded in 2002 by author Dave Eggers and educator Nínive Caligari, and its mission is to support under-resourced kids by teaching them a love for the literary arts and the skills to help them become great writers. The program went national, and now includes LA’s Time Travel Mart, Boston’s Bigfoot Research Institute, the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co, and more.

The shop raises funds for their programs and acts as a local provisioning agent for anyone who wants to hit the high seas. However, while all pegleg and hook-hand needs can be met at the store, visitors may want to purchase a cutlass elsewhere as the following dialog illustrates:

Customer: We’re looking for daggers. Pirate Clerk: I’m afraid we don’t carry weapons. Customer: No weapons?! What kind of pirate store is this? Pirate Clerk: One that is also a writing center for kids. Customer: Touché.