Whether it’s because it’s an election year, or because hysteria’s tend to take on lives of their own, clowns, this year, have been spotted everywhere, no one is really denying that we’re in the midst of a clown panic.
Police in Rolla, Missouri, have heard the rumors too, prompting one officer to spend an entire day investigating the rumors. He detailed that investigation Thursday in an epic post on the Rolla Police Department’s Facebook page.
It is unclear who the officer is, and Rolla police did not respond immediately to a request for comment, but it’s safe to say he or she is probably one of the department’s most valuable members. (Update: Rolla Police Chief Sean Fagan later identified the officer as Adam Meyer, a detective.)
The post begins with a sensible survey of the situation, and a quick tl;dr conclusion, before the officer goes deep into the evidence.
The officer then describes some of the old-fashioned police work he or she used to come to this determination, including a non-lethal encounter with a real clown.
But wait, there’s more!
Finally, the investigation concludes.
The post was published a little more than an hour ago, but has managed to rack up dozens of comments already, many thankful to the Rolla police for their hard work.
A job well done then for the officer, who signed off in style.
“There is one more thing I think that is worth mentioning,” the officer wrote. “This whole creepy clown stuff did actually scare some people. If you think it’s a good idea to put on a clown mask there is nothing illegal about that. Keep in mind that scared people do crazy things sometimes and there the chance you may find yourself in a precarious situation. But don’t worry, we will respond and investigate the assault.”
This post will be updated if more information becomes available.