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Hair They Are, the Punniest Salon Names in America

(Photos: Jacob Haller (Sunny and Shears, From Hair 2 E-Tan-ity); Jeannie O (Intl. Hairport); Kirsten Ruud (I Kneaded This); Jane Nagle (Jack of all Fades); Todd Tracy (Grateful Head); Emily C Hughes (Unbeweavable); Andrew Cafourek (Curl up & Dye))

Remember the hair salon on The Simpsons called “Curl Up And Dye”? I remember laughing my head off at that, not just because it’s a good double pun (both “curl up” and “dye” are hair-relevant), but because the phrase that’s being punned on is so off-putting. Who would name their business “curl up and die”?

Turns out, fully 30 different places would, from California to Maine (plus a Kurl Up & Dye in Texas). There are also several other death/grievous bodily harm puns (I’ll Cut You), and a slew of raunchy ones (Finger Bang). A surprisingly large number of salon names make some kind of pun on airplanes and airports, despite the fact that association with air travel has never made a business sound appealing. There’s even a salon called Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs. Sure, it evokes religiously-motivated murder, but by God, they’re committed to the pun.

In short, if there’s one thing you can say for sure about hair and nail salons, it is this: they don’t really care if their name suggests something unsavory. Execution? Ghosts? Fox News? If it rhymes with something relating to nails or haircuts, bring it on.

Some of the highlights (GET IT?):

—25 puns on (h)airports, (h)airlines, or (h)airplanes

—7 (H)Air Force Ones

—8 variations on “Best Little Hairhouse

—4 harem/hairem jokes

—6 references to the police/judicial process: 3 ”crops and bobbers” variants, 3 “electric chair” jokes, and a “Hair Street Blues

Editor’s picks:

Barberella (Hamtramck, MI)

Clip Art (Lexington, KY)

Combing Attractions (Conway, NH)

Dye Pretty (Round Rock, TX)

Finger Bang (Portland, OR)

Hairaphernalia (St. Louis Park, MN)

Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs (Chicago, IL)

Hannah And Her Scissors (Miami, FL)

Lice Knowing You (Portland, OR)

Nail Me Good (Hazelwood, MO)

Scissors Palace (Las Vegas, NV)

Shear Lock Combs (St. Peters, MO)

Snip Tease (Toms River, NJ)

The Grateful Head (San Francisco, CA)

You’ve Got Nail ((Brooklyn, NY)

And here is the list of other categories:

Coffee shops

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Pet Care

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

The full nail/hair salon list:

5150 Salon
Fremont, CA
A Breath Of Fresh Hair
Tallahassee, FL
A Breath of FresHair
Saco, ME
A Cut Above the Rest
St. Louis, MO
A Head of Time
Columbus, OH
A YOU’nique Image
South Bend, IN
Aloha Hairlines
Pearl City, HI
American Hairlines
Manchester, VT
Florence, MA
Bethlehem, PA
Palm Desert, CA
Anita Haircut
Urbandale, IA
Jamestown, RI
Anita Kurl
Boston, MA
April Shears
Ellsworth, ME
Barbarella Beauty Lounge
Berkeley, CA
Barberella
Hamtramck, MI
Be Hair Now
Ann Arbor, MI
Bellezza HAIRitage
Tuscaloosa, AL
Best Lil’ Hair House in Tucson
Tucson, AZ
Best Little Hair House
Providence, RI
Van Wert, OH
Beaumont, TX
Best Little Hairhouse in Vegas
Las Vegas, NV
Blooming Nails
Manhattan, NY
Wayne, PA
Chicago Hairport
Tecumseh, MI
Clip Art
Lexington, KY
Combing Attractions
Conway, NH
Corporate Hairquarters
Flagstaff, AZ
Crops and Bobbers
Oakland, CA
Crockett, CA
Curl Up & Dye
Terre Haute, IN
Steamboat Springs, CO
St. Paul, MN
Redondo Beach, CA
Puyallup, WA
Phoenix, AZ
Old Orchard Beach, ME
Newport, RI
Green Brook, NJ
Depew, NY
Chicago, IL
Carrboro, NC
Boston, MA
Curl Up and Die
Denver, CO
Curl Up and Dye
Stevensville, MT
Belmont Corner, ME
Old Orchard Beach, ME
Albany, NY
Malden, MA
Copiague, NY
Dunellen, NJ
Allentown, PA
Gilroy, CA
Ridgecrest, CA
Hacienda Heights, CA
Tyler, TX
Jacksonville, FL
Daytona Beach, FL
Curl Up N Dye
Chicago, IL
La Porte, TX
Cut & Dry
Hull, MA
Cutie Calls
Brooklyn, NY
Cuttin’ Loose
Cleveland, OH
Cutting Remarks
Palermo, ME
Deb N Hair Salon & Day Spa
Ladd, IL
Deja Du
Chattanooga, TN
Do or Dye
Durham, NC
Houston, TX
Dye Pretty
Round Rock, TX
E-Clips Hair Studio
Seattle, WA
Edmonds Mane Attraction
Edmonds, WA
Edna’s Crown and Glory
Thomaston, GA
Enfield Hairport
Enfield, NH
Finailly
Brooklyn, NY
Finger Bang
Portland, OR
Fox Nails
New York, NY
From Hair-2-E-Tan-ity Day Spa
Johnston, RI
Gail’s Mane Apperance
North Ridgeville, OH
Get Nailed
Las Vegas, NV
Austell, GA
Grateful Dreads
Ann Arbor, MI
Grateful Head
Mountain View, CA
Great Head Salon
Chicago, IL
Hair and Now
Lexington, KY
Fresno, CA
Hair Force
Sheboygan, WI
Metairie, LA
Kailua Kona, HI
Hair Force One
Traverse City, MI
Raymond, ME
Rutland, VT
Warwick, RI
Holbrook, NY
Camdenton, MO
Stanton, KY
Hair Harbor
Kenmore, WA
Hair I Am
Bristol, CT
Hair It Is
Mercer Island, WA
Pleasant Ridge, OH
Spartanburg, SC
Jackson, MS
Hair Jordan
Bloomington, IN
Lexington, KY
Hair on Broadway
Lexington, KY
Hair On Earth
North Oaks, MN
Staten Island, NY
Hair Port Beauty Salon
Warren, OH
Hair Street Blues
Sacramento, CA
Hair Way to Heaven
Newport, NC
Hair Way To Heaven
Alabaster, AL
Hair We Are
Granite Falls, WA
River Edge, NJ
Chestertown, MD
Charleston, WV
Murfreesboro, TN
Hair We Go Again
San Diego, CA
Hair-Y Care-Y
Mint Hill, NC
Hair’s Evelyn
Waltham, MA
Hairaphernalia
St. Louis Park, MN
Hairatage of Beauty
Oakland, CA
Hairesy
Minneapolis, MN
Hairfax
Fairfax, CA
Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs
Chicago, IL
Hairousel
San Jose, CA
Hairphenalia
Yorktown, VA
Hairplanes
Blue Hill, ME
Hairport
Pembroke, VA
San Antonio, TX
Hairport 77
Greensboro, NC
Hairport by Cathy
Elyria, OH
Hairs Looking at You
Emmaus, PA
Hairs to You
Rice Lake, WI
Hairsay
Houston, TX
Hairway to Heaven
Norwell, MA
Kemah, TX
Hairy Situations
Hudson, NY
Hank of Hair
Kansas City, MI
Hanna & Her Sisters
Queens, NY
Hannah and Her Scissors
Miami, FL
Haute Headz Salon
Tallahassee, FL
Head Turner
Jackson, MS
Headquarters
Warren, OH
Headquarters Salon
Kane, PA
Heads of State
Erie, PA
Heflin’s Hairport
Arlington, TX
Holly’s Curl Up and Dye
Manti, UT
Hot Heads: A Cool Salon
Wauwatosa, WI
I Kneaded This Massage!
Rhinebeck, NY
I’ll Cut You
Chicago, IL
Mentor, OH
International Hairport
Truth or Consequences, NM
Jack of All Fades
St Louis, MO
JoAnn’s Hair ‘Em
Madison, NJ
Juanderful
Lithonia, GA
Julius Scissor
Philadelphia, PA
Karen for Hair
Waukesha, WI
Kropps and Bobbers
New York, NY
Kurl Up & Dye
Dallas, TX
Kutt Above
Dothan, AL
Lash Out Loud
Puyallup, WA
Lice Knowing You
Portland, OR
Lisa’s Hairport
Bradford, PA
Mane Attraction
Burlington, VT
Oshkosh, WI
Mane Attractions
Madison, WI
Lake Charles, LA
Mane Escape
Concord, MA
Mane Event
San Francisco, CA
Mane Street
Hudson, NY
Manely Men Harecuts
Gray, ME
Mars Attracts!
Wakefield, RI
Mary’s Mane Solution
Waterford, MI
Mary’s Shear Artistry Hair
Roscoe, IL
MC Nails
Placerville, CA
More Hair City
Morehead City, NC
Mousey Brown Salon
Brooklyn, NY
N Style
Fairmont, WV
Nail Me Good
Hazelwood, MO
Nailed It
Little Canada, MN
Nailed It!
Cleveland, OH
New Hairizons
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
Outshine Salon
Seattle, WA
Ova’s Hairum
Richmond, IN
Pat on the Head
Oakmont, PA
Peek-A-Do
Durham, NC
Personali-Tease
Waterville, ME
Peter’s Over Hair
Revere, MA
Pharaoh’s Hairum
Fairport, NY
Rochester, NY
Rape of the Locke
Newark, DE
Ross Vegas
Fairfield, OH
Scarlett O’Haira’s Salon & Company
West Palm Beach, FL
Scissors and Sinners
,Fort Collins
Scissors of Oz
Tamworth, NH
Scissors Palace
,Las Vegas
SFO Hairport
San Francisco, CA
Shaving Grace Barbers
Exton, PA
She Goes to Your Head
Queens, NY
Shear Decadence
,Tyler Texas
Shear Designs
,Westlake Ohio
Shear Ego
Rochester, NY
Shear Elegance
Pittsburgh, PA
Shear Energy
Huntsville, AL
Shear Ingenuity Hair Salon
Philadelphia, PA
Shear Lock Combs
St. Peters., MO
Shear Madness
Austin, TX
Shear Madness: Haircuts for Kids
Olathe, KS
Shear Magic
Medway, MA
Shear Perfection
Middletown, CT
Flagstaff, AZ
Shear Pleasure
St. Paul, MN
Cheltenham, PA
Shear Style
High Point, NC
Shearlock Combs
Naperville, IL
Shears To Ya
Walled Lake, MI
Shears To You
Oak Lawn, IL
Sheer Bliss
Gray, ME
Snappy Nail
Huntsville, AL
Snip Tease
Toms River, NJ
Starbutts
Winter Park, FL
Stocks and Blondes
San Jose, CA
Strand Barber & Beaury
San Francisco, CA
Sunny & Hair
Avoca, AR
Tease Salon
Milwaukee, WI
Thairapy
South Pasadena, CA
The Beard & Mane
Omaha, NE
The Best Li’l Hair House
Fountain Valley, CA
The Best Little Hair House
,WallaceID
The Best Little Hairhouse in Gresham
Gresham, OR
The Eclectic Chair
Idaho Falls, ID
The Electric Chair
San Diego, CA
The Godbarber
New Orleans, LA
The Grateful Head
San Francisco, CA
The Hair After
Concord, MA
Cambridge, OH
The Hair-Loom
Ithaca, NY
The Hairitage
Bethel, OH
The Honeycomb
Charlottesville, VA
The Last Tangle in Washington
Washington, DC
The Mane Attraction
Rochester, NY
The Twisted Scissor
Lexington, KY
Tips & Toes Spa
Joliet, IL
To Dye For
Easthampton, MA
Toe Tally Nails
Washington, DC
Toni’s Hair We Go
North Bend, OR
Tortorice & the Hair
Bethel Park, PA
Tortorrice and the Hair
,Bethel ParkPA
Un-B-Weaveable
Hagerstown, MD
Unbeweavable Beauty Supply
Brooklyn, NY
United Hair Lines Inc.
Niles, IL
United Hairlines & Tan Lines
Holland, OH
Uptight Hair Salon
Seattle, WA
Wak ‘N Yak
Okanogan, WA
Whoopti Do
Vermillion, SD
Wicked Clippahs
Sandwich, MA
Wild Hair
Wichita, KS
Wild Hair’s
Williamstown, NJ
Wizard of Ahhs
Savannah, GA
You’ve Got Nail
Brooklyn, NY