The Names of America’s Coffee Shops Cover All the Grounds

(Photos: Chris Stuart (Baguetteaboudit); Yuting (Snakes and Lattes); Phocion Bryer (The Donut Whole); Noah (The Human Bean)

See our ultimate crowdsourced map of punny businesses in America.

America’s coffee shops aren’t trying to stump you, and that’s okay. 

The vast majority of submitted establishments stick to four obvious coffee themes: brew, bean, perk, grounds (or grind). Very few of these business names offer the forehead-slapping, spit-out-your-drink sort of puns. They’re more obvious than that, readily understood by any passerby without a second look. They also tend to be comparatively tamer than some of the other industries we explored (shoutout to waxing shops and towing companies!)

Perhaps because of the more conspicuous nature of these puns, there’s lots of repetition here. Brewed Awakenings is the most popular name by far and it knows no geographic bounds. Not only can you get a certified brewed awakening in many states in the lower 48, but up in Alaska and even in Guam. 

And yet, when it comes to sheer number of references, “brew” comes in second place. It seems that, more than anything, the folks responsible for naming the nation’s coffeehouses love riffing on the idea of coffee grounds. From Common Grounds to Uncommon Grounds and from Higher Grounds to Legal Grounds, all the (sorry) grounds are covered. 

But where the nation’s coffeeshop owners really do justice to their signature stimulant’s creative powers is when it comes to musical references. You have Sister Sludge, Scone Pony, Moody Brews, Dark Side of the Spoon, and Rimsky-Korsakoffee House, among others. It makes sense since, after all, coffee shops are so often distinguished by the aural offerings as by the drinks.

A blend of coffeeshop facts:

—38 variations on grind/grounds

—27 variations on “brews”

—14 variations on “bean”

—11 variations on “perk”

—15 shops named “Brewed Awakening”

Editor’s Picks:

Burial Grounds (Olympia, WA)

Coffee Crossing (New Albany, IN) 

Freudian Sip (Northridge, CA)

Rimsky-Korsakoffee House (Portland, OR)

Scone Pony (Spring Lake NJ)

Sister Sludge (Minneapolis, MN)  

Here are the other categories:

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Pet Care

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

Hair/Nail Salons

The full list: